Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my sisters under your porch take her home
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
