yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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