Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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