is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Sober January is a disaster.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
