If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
