the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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