Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
