Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
