Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
