he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
