you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
