cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize