My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Are we still banned from the library?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
