but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
