They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
