two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
