You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
