Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
