69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
