Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Help. Why am I so naked?
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