and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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