I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
