I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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