Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
