I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
