Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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