Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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