so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
