nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
