It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
