At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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