She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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