i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
They took my balls.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
