Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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