Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
