He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
