sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
