i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
