Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Randomize
