I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
