I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
