Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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