i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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