I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
