i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
