it wasn't lemon gatorade
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
