we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
sarcasm needs its own font
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
