My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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