Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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