I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
