I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
