Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Can I color on your dick again?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
