I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
