i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
