what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
