It's like God shit irony all over that family
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
