its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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