Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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