I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
