Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
