Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
