I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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